I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
