I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
