tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
