I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've blown a few things in my day
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
