Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i think i just lost a toe
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
