a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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