Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
