Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
