the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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