i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
