moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
