singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
