He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
