i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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