I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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