I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize