Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
