i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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