i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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