u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
