I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
