After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
