My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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