I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
