"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
