how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
