never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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