if i can run in heels then i can drive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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