Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
