good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
