i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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