Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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