pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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