i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
