SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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