You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
