She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
