so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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