Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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