Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize