I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
