I wanna bring you to show and tell
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I fill condoms, not promises.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
