is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
