you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
