Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
