The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
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Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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