weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
