My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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