go do what you do best...puke behind churches
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize