So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
