At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
