there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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