We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
