I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize