Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
bring money and cleavage
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
