lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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