i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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