Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
